tv

So I am guessing I should talk about the TV incident, although I'm really okay with letting it go. For some reason I am surprised that I am not crazy mad that our NEW tv is broken. I guess I am not in LOVE with the television. I use it, as a method of escape, but really could care less if it's there. Especially now that Guiding Light isn't on anymore. (Whatever! that's TOTALLY an entire post in itself.. I'll never get over that)... I am more upset at how Connor handled his anger. I think everyone questions their parenting skills at some point, and somehow I feel it's my fault that he didn't have the tools to vent his frustration in a different manner. I have to own some of that. I have thrown the occasional tantrum (close your mouth, it's not that shocking)..and when I was young, I broke a window out of frustration. I didn't mean to break it (or did I?) and I remember after it happened I knew I was going to be in trouble. I knew I had to tell my mom and I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I can't even remember how she handled it now. As an adult I try hard to remain calm and remember to breathe and to model that for the kids, but I can't help but think back to that broken window, and the impulse to smack it with my hand.
He woke up this morning and was sick- vomiting. I really think it had something to do with him worrying about the tv. We were upset and we lit into him. At one point, I felt like we were giving him the Jack Bauer treatment. We were both pointing our fingers and flailing our arms and yelling about how "Now it's broken, do you realize you've ruined it for the whole family?". Madness. It's a tv. And while I agree that throwing is not an acceptable way to show your anger, I do think in the grand scheme of life, this is a mole hill and NOT the mountain we were making it out to be yesterday.
One of my favorite books is Scream Free Parenting. It's good for a laugh, and to help put your attitude toward parenting in perspective. It's got some really great tips on how to not go out of your mind when raising kids.
I believe that it's not hard to be a parent.. it's hard to be a GOOD parent. Your kids are little sponges- mini mirror images of you and if you aren't careful they will turn out exactly like you don't want. I can remember one time I was on the phone with my bff and she heard one of the kids yell for the dog. "Pepper- get in here".. It was the SAME tone that I used, same way to get the dog's attention, and she pointed it out how funny it was.. I thought it was funny, but at the same time realized that these little mini-me's are exactly that, and that I was in complete charge of most of their behavior. Children learn what they live- fo sho.
I know that I am going to work with Connor to help him find a different way to express his anger. It's okay to get frustrated, it's not okay to throw things. And it's not okay to break an expensive television- (break the cheap one in the playroom next time).. (-: